A dog from a busy street in your neighbourhood has confirmed that it will not stop barking when you walk past its house, citing the fact that you walked past as evidence of the technique’s deterrent qualities.
‘99.9% success rate,’ said Alfie. ‘They come here, sniffing around, but I send them on their way pretty sharp-ish with a few good woofs. I’ve had some hang around, think they can wear me down, but I just keep ramping it up – 20 minutes, half an hour – and off they trot, tail firmly between their legs, and I’ve won…again.’
Reports that people were passing by for many reasons were met with incredulity. ‘Fact is: I bark, they go. There’s your proof. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go do some growling, because, unless my ears deceive me, I have a washing machine to stop.’