Corrie theme tune to be new national anthem

FROM ITV 

Coronation Street 

Double WEDnesday treat for Corrie viewers as extra episode details are announced

ITV have today announced the transmission date for the extra weekly episode of Coronation Street - and it is a double WEDnesday treat for viewers.

The first extra episode will air on Wednesday September 20th at 8.30pm - meaning Corrie fans get double helpings of their favourite soap on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays every week.

And the first week of the new six episode double Wednesday transmission pattern will kick off in fittingly spectacular style with the double wedding of Aidan, Eva, Jenny and Johnny.

The action packed week begins with Aidan Connor confessing his affair with Maria to fiancee Eva on the day of their wedding. Just when it looks as though she has decided to still go ahead with the marriage jilted mistress Maria gatecrashes the wedding in truly jaw dropping style.

What follows is one of the most sensational stunt-filled weddings the cobbles have ever seen.

But the drama is not confined to Aidan and Eva’s nuptials. Things don’t go quite to plan for Jenny and Johnny when Rita’s health takes a turn for the worse. As a concerned Jenny refuses to leave her hospital bedside it looks as though neither of the Connor men are going to manage to tie the knot.

One couple who did get to say ‘I Do’ are the newly married Norris and Mary Cole - this week they take part in the Mr and Mrs Quiz which was behind their decision to get married. They are taken aback when they meet the over enthusiastic organiser of the competition Colin Callen played by Jim Moir. Colin seems to be keen for them to win but is there more to the flamboyant NewsCo boss than meets the eye?

Meanwhile Michelle Connor makes a chilling discovery when she goes to the home of ex boyfriend Will for a drink only to stumble across a drawer full of photos of herself - has she finally discovered the identity of her stalker and can she get out unharmed?

It has been just over

The signature tune to the much-loved soap opera Coronation Street will become Britain’s post-Brexit national anthem according to an announcement from Buckingham Palace.

‘We toyed with that and the signature tune to Eastenders in an attempt to find something that typified the new national mood,’ a palace spokesman said, ‘but Corrie definitely had the edge. Eastenders opens quite promisingly, since it sounds like someone head butting an opponent but at the end of the day it was felt that the Corrie theme summons up a picture of their homeland which Brits of all classes will be able to identify with. It sounds like the whine of a cat being strangled on a wet Wednesday afternoon in November.’

Along with God Save the Queen, the national motto, ‘Dieu et Mon Droit’, will also go. The spokesman explained that although it expresses perfectly the belief that God is with the Brits, the fact that it is in a foreign language has the drawback that British people don’t have to learn to talk foreign because we won the war.

After toying with the idea of adopting ‘Things Can Only Get Better as the national motto, officials decided that this seemed to have political overtones and implied that there was something wrong. ‘Eventually we settled for ‘Things Are Worse Elsewhere, You Know’,’ the spokesman said.

‘That way you can have flexibility and insert the name of any country you like according to what’s in the news at the time. So when the NHS collapses we can say ‘Things Are Worse in Zimbabwe’. When the rail network falls apart in a snowfall we can say ‘Things Are Worse in Syria’. Hopefully that way people will stop complaining and feel grateful for the major improvements that Brexit will seem to have delivered. It’s all about managing expectations.’

In an official statement, Britain said ‘Ah well, mustn’t grumble. Most of us instinctively stand up when we hear the Corrie theme tune – and at least we needn’t have mixed feelings when we win a gold medal at the Olympics any more’. Donald Trump has already tweeted his approval, but everybody had deleted their Twitter accounts anyway, just to be on the safe side.

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Posted: Dec 28th, 2017 by

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