Scientists have managed to calculate the combined weight of all of Film Producer Harvey Weinstein’s molestations. Throughout the month of August alone he is alleged to have dropped 34 trillion gallons of foul, smelling sweat on actresses throughout the US Gulf states’ casting couches.
Weinstein has been one of this year’s largest sexual shitstorms, eclipsing the Kevin Spacey media cyclone or the shower that work at the House of Commons. Using his sizeable and repugnant girth, Hurricane Harvey has crushed the hopes, ambitions and self-respect of dozens of women and at least three city blocks.
Meanwhile President Trump a known climate change and molestation denier, said that there was no evidence of artic warming and that the girls probably ‘asked for it’. A legal spokesman for Mr Weinstein said: ‘Harvey refutes any environmental model, in fact he denies anything said by any model’.