The canine world has been cheered by news that Mannie, a Labrador retriever from Warrington, has finally killed the vacuum cleaner which had been terrorising his household.
‘Turns out, I was attacking the wrong end all these years’, he told dog journalists through the medium of pissing on vegetation while the family cat looked on with ill-disguised contempt. ‘You have to go for the tail. It’s got a sting, but bite right through it and Henry is no more. He is deceased. He is an ex-vacuum monster.’
Canine electronics experts have warned that the solution will not work for all vacuum monsters. ‘Some are cordless, and there are robotic versions as well’, said one spokesdog. ‘We think the vacuum monster is evolving new defences, rather like a polymorphic virus. Ooh, look, squirrel! Squirrel!’