In a bid to bolster dwindling congregation numbers and appeal to a younger demographic, the Catholic church is to replace traditional altar wine with Prosecco as part of the communion ceremony.
‘Transubstantiation is stuck in the past,’ said Father Pascal O’Hare. ‘And Rome is to be congratulated here for taking this forward step to try and bring us into the 21st century. Ladies love prosecco, so we expect to see our mass attendance figures rocket when the change is implemented as they will drag more of their menfolk through the door.’
If the experiment proves to be a success, the traditional plain bread wafer may be substituted with a sour cream and chive Pringle. ‘Now wouldn’t that be grand? Sure t’would turn the mass into more of a nibbles party,’ Father O’Hare said.
hat-tip to ChrisF