Two Ronnies fan disappointed after asking Amazon’s Alexa to buy four candles


Dave Bramble, a software tester and Two Ronnies aficionado, originally from Melton Mowbray, looks to have found a new straight man, after asking Alexa via his new Amazon Echo Dot if she had four candles.

A few seconds later Dave received a message from Amazon saying they do not stock four candles or fork handles, but would he be interested in a Two Ronnies box set?

Disappointed that this was obviously a popular wheeze, Dave instructed Alexa to say: ‘All right Dave? Have you seen Mike Hunt today?’ every time he enters his lounge, where he has suggestively positioned six of his ultra-realistic sex dolls. Simultaneously, Dave’s programmable toy parrot Nigel lets out a very loud wolf-whistle and says ‘Ding dong!’ in a Leslie Phillips-type way.

Dave continued his day by watching a compilation of his favourite Two Ronnies news bulletin sketches. After a while Alexa, Dave’s Filipino maid, brought him in a slap-up meal of a tin of woup, a woucumber, two packets of wheese and a walliflower, followed by porridge.

Just before 11pm Dave’s butler Mike Hunt then came into the lounge and asked him: ‘Will that be all for today Mr Bramble?’. ‘Yes thanks Mike, see you tomorrow. Good night.’, replied Dave in a deadpan way.

‘Time for bed’,  said Dave, who had programmed the theme music from the Magic Roundabout to come on to his Echo Dot whenever he said  ‘time for bed

‘It’s good night from me and it’s good night from him’, said Alexa at precisely 11pm, to heavy applause.

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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2018 by

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