Environmentalist are targeting a significant reduction in the amount of Theresa May over the coming year, with their eventual hope of eradicating the indiscriminate dumping of all toxic policies. Landfill sites are already over-flowing with Tory promises, with many voters stating: ‘She’s not the bag for life we wanted’.
The recycling of Cabinet members has made some inroads into the problem, but there is wider concern about the needless PR packaging surrounding the Prime Minister. As one activist explained: ‘You can use all the shrink-wrapping you like, a turd is still a turd. Plastic waste is one thing, but our Prime Minister is a waste of space’.
Shops and corn-fields will go May-free over the coming months, with a surcharge on anyone taking her seriously. Instead, voters are advised to use a tie-dyed, hemp-made Corbyn-bin, which comes in a 1970’s design.
There is mounting criticism of incinerators being used to clear-up May-waste; whereas environmentally and diplomatically it makes more sense to shred documents – as David Davis has found. Meantime Mrs May has pledged to eradicate all avoidable plastic waste in the UK by 2042, while the electorate has pledged to remove her by 2019.