Government to offer flu vaccine ‘only to taxpayers’

Flu (H1N1) issues and Vaccine (Sept 27th, 2009)

With supplies of the current flu vaccine running low and with the NHS close to collapsing the government has decided to reserve the remaining stocks ‘for those who invest in the economy by paying taxes.’

A Department of Health spokesman said today, ‘why would we use our remaining stocks on old, retired pensioners? They keep their income deliberately below the tax threshold by voting Conservative governments in time after time and then insist on living for years and years after retirement on subsistence pensions that cost the country a packet. Better to let them catch flu and keep the taxpaying workers healthy. Getting rid of the oldies helps the housing stock situation as well.’

Flu vaccines will be available at pharmacies around the country to anyone with a recent P60 and a current payslip. Those not entitled to the vaccine are urged to stay at home and not bother the A&E departments. ‘Much better to stay at home updating your will,’ added the spokesman.

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2018 by

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