France swaps Bayeux Tapestry for a copy of Viz


In what is being seen as the cultural exchange of the century, France is offering the UK a piece of moth-eaten tat in exchange for Buster Gonad and a Cockney Wanker. Although slightly one-sided, President Macron has offered to sweeten the deal with a dirty limerick by Marcel Proust and the scrap value of the Eiffel Tower.

The Bayeux Tapestry is probably the medieval period’s most infamous cartoon strip; featuring the slapstick antics of William the Conqueror, Harold the Sexist and Billy the Fish. Historians have long debated the origins of the tapestry, but all agree ‘it looks a bit sh$t’.

By contrast, Parisian intellectuals have long coveted Viz Comic’s post-modernist, existential Nouveau Réalisme and tits. Even Coco Chanel based her ‘little black dress’ on a scrap of chiffon used to cover 5% of the surface area of the Fat Slags.

One art historian commented: ‘The tapestry depicts a pitched battle between poorly dressed peasants, very much like the comic’s portrayal of a Friday night in Newcastle. But one is vulgar daubing filled with unnecessary violence and cultural stereo-types – while the other is Viz’.

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Posted: Jan 18th, 2018 by

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