Adolescence lasts until 24, but being an arsehole is timeless

David Davis

Sociologists are now suggesting that being obnoxious may extend well beyond the teenage years, citing the House of Commons as a perfect example of regressive behaviour, poor hygiene and hormones run-amok. Rather than ending at 19, reprehensible behaviour is not phase we grow out of; unlike learning to play the bass or believing in socialism.

Given the choice most people will stay in in a perpetual state of youth, gorging on chicken nuggets, snapchat and the hilarious antics of Justin Bieber. For instance, man-child Boris Johnson displays all the characteristics of a teenager – ridiculous hair, racist banter and an inability to master the instructions behind basic contraception.

Said one scientist: ‘Studies suggest youngsters will be 30 by the time they get their first proper job, 50 before they move out of your spare room and 70 before they acknowledge that James Corden was a mistake’.

Adulthood and responsibility for your actions, may now be a point in our future we never reach, which will be a relief to the Board of Directors at Carillion. Most self-obsessed ‘snowflakes’ will chose to stay as they are, or at least until they finish being the Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2018 by

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