A leading European scientist today announced that he has finally managed to isolate and identify the so-called ‘peasant’ gene in the average Briton that explains why the Royal Family continues to be loved and respected despite all logic and common sense.
For years world boffins have been baffled by the British ability to instantly recognise their Betters and be ready to bend the knee and tug the forelock at the first sight of Royalty or a Sir. During the French revolution, all eyes looked for a similar uprising in Britain but the naturally subservient Englishman was more than happy living in poverty and took to the streets wearing their best rags whenever another Royal birth was announced.
During the industrial revolution with most Britains living in squalor and being used as factory fodder, crowds would wave their flags and celebrate not having a pot to piss in, being happy to be part of the richest nation on earth. Proud of the British Empire.
The modern day British peasant has kept up this tradition, voting Tory, anxiously awaiting the announcement of the New Years Honours list, and wetting themselves with excitement when a four year old starts private nursery. ‘It’s all in the DNA apparently’ said the BBC’s Royal Correspondent. ‘Well, that’s what this posh scientist told me anyway, and he went to Eton, so he must know what he is talking about.’