Editors call for more black underwear details as justified outrage story fades

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As the President’s Club scandal threatens to be a one day wonder, editors in all news media have urgently called for more skirt length details, groping allegations and what-went-on-in-the-lift stories. ‘It would be a tragedy if this story died a death only to be replaced by Boris Johnson wanting to be Prime Minister again, foxhunting and the threat of nuclear war,’ said one media source. ‘Everyone needs more details and pictures of these scantily clad women’s experiences just to show what an unequal world we live in.’

One daily editor told reporters on his team ‘It’s crucial we refresh our readers’ rightful sense of moral outrage about this story. The search for more details about what happened, what clothes they were wearing and whether my wife would look nice in them is entirely justified. The public have a right to know, so that we can help young pretty nurses at Great Ormond Street do their job better. It would be sinful to let it go for want of some details about black knickers and young women paid money, plied with wine, sworn to secrecy and would you excuse me for a moment.’

Another multimedia editor told colleagues that readers’ indignation would be ‘rightfully served by a dramatized video reconstruction, possibly with some of the Presidents’ victims playing themselves for an undisclosed fee and even a tie-in promotional deal on black tights from Topshop or that other shop with an Italian name I never go in.’

A rival newspaper’s secretly filmed video shows him surrounded by young women intern journalists and saying: ‘Only then might we truly show how sexual inequality is endemic in the highest heels of the land and how other people’s 20 something daughters have been forced into what appears to be sexual slavery. Readers have a right to know exactly what went on and whether the man from Dragon’s Den will be sacked by the BBC as a result, with a tearful response from his attractive third wife (34) plus colour pics. I mean highest echelons of the land.’



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Posted: Jan 26th, 2018 by

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