A young(ish) woman known only as ‘Theresa’ has complained of the sordid abuse she faced in a male-dominated setting known as ‘Parliament’.
‘It started with requirements for me to dress in leopardskin kitten heels,’ she told reporters today. ‘Then when I got there, I found the place was dominated by rowdy old men, all waving their order papers about. Before I knew it I was wearing leather trousers and being humiliated on a regular basis.’
‘I thought if I could just keep out of sight, it wouldn’t be so bad. But they said I had to stand up front every Wednesday lunchtime and answer questions, while they all jeered at me. It was horrible, I’d never have taken the job if I’d known.’
Another woman, calling herself ‘Diane’, said that although she was never subjected to that sort of questioning, she feels she wasn’t paid what was agreed – though she admits she’s not sure, as the answer comes out different every time she counts it.
The president of the club, John ‘Shagger’ Bercow, said he apologised if “the lads” had got a bit ‘boisterous’, but they were probably quite drunk as it was after lunch. He also stressed that Parliament has done a great deal to support good causes in the past, though independent enquiry has found no evidence of this.