Sources on the bridge of the Titanic have said that the ship will not be worse off after collision with iceberg and its preferred bespoke option was not analysed. ‘Getting a deal is in everyone’s best interests,’ said David Davis, Navigator and Chief Counsel For Sailing Into An Iceberg At Full Tilt. ‘The iceberg has as much to lose as us, maybe more.’
Captain May, meanwhile, said that the document suggesting that the ship will sink has not modelled the effect of a bespoke deal. ‘It also does not set out or measure the details of our desired outcome – a new deep and special partnership with the iceberg – or predict the conclusions of the negotiations,’ she added, standing knee-deep in freezing water and insisting that ‘nothing has changed’.