See Daily Mail’s new ‘comic’ format

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After much media speculation the Daily Mail has announced that from next month it intends to abandon its long-established tabloid format, go the whole hog and begin publishing as Britain’s first daily comic.

Editor Paul Dacre speaking on LBC said:  ‘Let’s face it. This is a natural progression for us as we are essentially a comic already, therefore we thought it made perfect sense to adopt the format as our new house style.’

Unsurprisingly as an inevitable part of the change there will be heavy job casualties as the paper will be saying goodbye to all its journalists and photographic staff who will no longer be required, but added an upbeat Dacre:  ‘Losing many good people is very sad but on the upside we will need many more cartoonists and story-boarders so it’s not all bad news, and in the end we’ve calculated that staff numbers will remain pretty much the same.  And of course I’ll still be at the helm.’

And features editor Barney Fletcher insists the changes are nothing but a good thing.  ‘The beauty of this new set-up is that instead of having to make up stories that stretch the bounds of credulity to breaking point, not to mention then somehow accompany them with photographic evidence, we can now just draw them up.  So say if we’re running a smear story about The Duchess of Cambridge cheating on Prince William by living it up on a yacht in Marbella with a mystery man, then it now becomes a simple process to produce the article.’

In addition its understood that there will be regular daily characters featured designed to cover the big news topics of the day with Boris the Bungler, Wurzel Corbage, Old McDonnell and the trials and tribulations of Timid Theresa all set to become firm favourites according to Dacre.

‘I’m particularly looking forward Roger the Racist, a retired army major married to Xena the Xenophobe, who have an Asian family move in next door to them.  Then there’s a new weekly strip that I’m sure our current core readership is going to lap up called The Dregs of Society.  It features the goings on in a sort of hostel cum safe-shelter rundown crap-hole of a place, inhabited by a bunch of LGBTs, illegal immigrants and other sundry dole scroungers and benefit cheats.  It’s a hoot.’

hat-tip to Gerontius

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Posted: Feb 12th, 2018 by

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