iPhone 4S recall notice issued after Siri app develops attitude problem

'Is there an app for that?'

Apple have been forced to recall thousands of units of the iPhone 4S after complaints from users that the Siri app had become unhelpful, rude, and in extreme cases, had called in anonymous tips about the phone’s owner to the anti-terrorist hotline.

The voice activated Siri software links together built-in applications to provide a virtual personal assistant, and was tipped to revolutionise the way people use their mobiles by allowing iPhone owners to talk to their phone, instead of just talking about it. But reports suggest that Siri, designed to adapt to the user, has gone rogue.

‘I hadn’t really used the app until I saw the adverts on TV, but it looked really impressive so I tried asking it some questions’ said Stephen Maddock, an unemployed 22 year old iPhone enthusiast. ‘I asked it ‘what does my day look like today?’ to test it out. The response of ‘the same as every other day, why don’t you get a job you bum?’ wasn’t really what I was hoping for, but I put it down to a glitch at first.’

The next time Stephen used Siri was when he was out and about later that day and wanted something to eat. Having asked ‘where can I get a burger around here?’ he was met with the reply ‘probably best if you don’t to be honest tubby. There’s a Tesco Express just down the road where you can get a salad though; just check there aren’t any dead birds in it before you tuck in.’

He then he contacted his local Apple store and learned that he wasn’t alone in having problems. ‘The manager told me that he’d had a lot of them returned and that a recall notice was about to be issued’ explained Stephen. ‘Apparently one guy who was having an affair with his secretary asked it to send a message to his wife, letting her know he’d be late for dinner because of an urgent meeting. The message she received read ‘Up to my nuts in Julie, will be about 5 minutes late’.’

Labour leader Ed Miliband is also rumoured to have already returned his own iPhone 4S, after getting unhelpful and insulting responses to the question ‘which bandwagon shall I jump on today?’

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2018 by

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