Perhaps not unreasonably, the South African head-of-state is reluctant to step down unless he is assured of a top-notch formal banquet and piss-up to mark his contribution to the nation: ‘What’s the point of being head-of-state if you don’t have a good classy knees-up with some top totty and stack of free booze when you quit? I’m going to put the President back into the Presidents’ club’.
However the caterers are unwilling to accept another booking for such an event unless those paying for it accept the loss of the deposit they have already paid for a previous series of bookings which has been repeatedly postponed and eventually cancelled. And the State of South Africa has refused to pay another, fresh deposit, claiming that their previous payment should be sufficient.
A suggestion that the people of South Africa themselves may be willing to stump up directly has been greeted with general scorn. ‘Sod that’ said one citizen. ‘We’re all saving up for our own street parties throughout the country when the old goat finally decides to buggers off’.