In a dramatic bid to solve problems of over demand in the health service the NHS has reworked the fuel saving war time slogan ‘Is your journey really necessary?’. A spokesman for the NHS said: ‘Posters will be going up shortly and as a further benefit we anticipate there should be a ‘trickle down’ effect into the private sector with increased workload to undertakers.’
‘This should not be as difficult as it sounds – after all the idea that we are all going to snuff it eventually has a long and respectable pedigree on all sides of the political spectrum. Keynes famously said ‘We are all dead in the long run’ and Lenin said ‘we are all dead men on leave’. So the idea of simply relieving pressure on the health service by not staying alive a day longer than is absolutely necessary should be fairly acceptable to a wide range of people’.
Doctors are enthusiastic: ‘Although we aren’t allowed to practice euthanasia – indeed we’re strongly against the whole idea since it would increase our workload even more– there’s no reason why patients shouldn’t show their selflessness and concern for the welfare of others by simply taking the pressure off of us’. And of those leading a pointless existence that should be ended, the Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, is at the front of the queue.