A young Remain supporter, frustrated by the fact that his generation will have to live with the consequences of Brexit for longest, has come up with a new strategy for winning Leavers around to his way of thinking. ‘In the past, we’ve too often just told Leavers they were gullible, stupid or racist’, he explained. ‘Clearly, that’s just going to harden attitudes, when we should be focused on their hardening arteries’.
‘Today we’re launching a campaign encouraging young Remainers to tell their parents ‘You’ll be dead soon, so you ought to vote the way I want’. If they don’t accept the logic, try pointing out that they’re looking a bit pasty this morning, they had red meat for dinner again last night, and belonging to a gym is no use unless you actually go.’
‘While you’re at it, try asking them to be a bit more frugal in their lifestyles, or else there’ll be nothing left for you to inherit. ‘Seriously, two trips to the garden centre this weekend? What you just spent on compost would keep me in vaping accessories for a month’.’
The young man’s parents initially declined when asked for a comment, until finally his mother issued a statement admitting they clearly hadn’t done a great job as parents, to which his father said: ‘It’s not all our fault dear, they get these things from their friends. Anyway, thanks to Brexit, he’ll be dead soon’.