Some bloke you’ve never heard of has warmed the cockles of the nation’s heart by coming third in Olympic downhill tray-sliding in the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics.
His financial future is totally secure as he is now destined to be taken to our hearts and tread a well-worn path sure to see him win Sports Personality of the Year, be knighted in The New year Honours list and be given the freedom of his hometown, wherever that is.
Dom Parsons told reporters: ‘I’m delighted to have been able to make a name for myself in such a minority sport. My heroes have always been Steve Redgrave and Chris Foy, because look at the handy touch they’ve had for years just for paddling a boat and riding a bike. Britain is so desperate for success in any international sport that if you can pull it off, no matter how obscure it is you’re sorted. Made for life.’