A former high ranking Czech intelligence officer claims that Jeremy Corbyn once let slip where he hid the Chocolate Hob Nobs from his fellow back benchers. Czech intelligence files from the 1980’s also revealed how Corbyn passed on other sensitive information that only a Shadow Cabinet back bench outsider would have had access to.
The spy claims that Corbyn once told him where the nearest dry cleaners were, which delicatessens stocked the best Fair Trade mung beans and which railings to chain your push-bike to if you were late for a meeting. ‘I asked him about the dry cleaners and he just came right out with it’ said the former Czech agent ‘I didn’t even have to pay for the information. He gave it willingly…without even fixing a price. In my country information like that would have cost you 500 koruna’.
The Czech spy, who posed as a home-made jam maker to gain Corbyn’s trust also claims the Labour leader once used a Westminster photocopying machine to print private documents which he distributed amongst his friends. ‘I remember one such document…it was called Allotment Weekly…another was on how best to compost a teabag. We had our top code breakers working around the clock to work out what secret messages were contained within the documents…but we never cracked it.
To the casual observer these documents seemed mind numbingly dull and utterly pointless.
‘We even tried blackmail with photoshopped images of him in bed with a hippo wearing a pink tutu…but then we discovered he’d had an affair with Diane Abbot in the 1970’s…so it was quite clear that wasn’t going to work. We decided he was a double agent, playing us against the Americans…….he is still a legend in the StB.
‘With friends like Corbyn passing on sensitive information to our intelligence agencies you can see why we eventually lost the Cold War. You Brits should be proud of him, he saved your country…he really was that good.’
hat tip to Crayon