A crucial ingredient of fast-food giant KFC’s much trumpeted secret recipe was revealed this week to be chicken. Long suspected of being a vital piece of the KFC business model, confirmation was received when not having any chicken caused KFC branches across the UK to close.
‘We didn’t really realise how much we depended on a continual supply of chickens into our restaurants until we ran out,’ said General Manager Judith Baxter. ‘Then it was like, “bugger me! How the fuck did that happen?”‘
Baxter said she and top analysts at KFC had swiftly identified the problem causing the closures as ‘no chicken’ and had come with a solution to get the stores trading again,’ but declined to say if it included chicken.
‘We thought we’d be able to carry on trading without any chicken to sell – there’s your coleslaws, your chips, your potato and gravys. But no. Turns out the chicken’s a bit of a top-seller. But still, we’re not going to confirm whether chicken is, or is not, actually part of the secret recipe involved in the production of Kentucky Fried Chicken. It might be, it might not be,’ said Baxter. ‘I couldn’t possibly say.’