Millions of Olympics viewers test positive for lactose reveals IOC


Millions of people have admitted to using hot milky beverages in order to help them stay awake while watching the Winter Olympics, confirmed the IOC. Drinks like Horlicks, Ovaltine and Cocoa are routinely used by armchair viewers to help them relax in front of the TV, with 1 in 4 admitting they also had a biscuit.

Although perfectly legal in the UK, the use of liquids from an animals mammary gland to create a comforting evening drink is considered unnecessary and if taken in large doses could actually keep you up at night.  Doctors say the best thing to do after imbibing in a hot milky beverage is to retire to bed early and not stay up trying to watch the Olympics.

‘There is no need for a hot milky drink to help you relax….most people will fall asleep naturally, especially if the Winter Olympics is on.  Unless of course you happened to be watching that French figure skater….you’ll definitely be up all night then….I know I was’.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2018 by

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