Reports from the ‘other side’, being channelled through psychics and mediums, say that billboards have already been going up all over Heaven following the death of American evangelist Billy Graham today.
They are advertising an upcoming philosophical debate in which the firebrand American preacher will go head-to-head with the Reverend Ian Paisley, when the two debate the meaning of life and the purpose of mankind’s very existence.
Theologian, Bible scholar and racing tipster, Seamus O’Rourke told reporters: ‘This is going be one heck of a showdown. And as regards tactics I think we’ll see Dr Paisley quickly going in for the kill, in full spume and spittle mode continually shouting No! No! NEVER!!! in response to every argument Mr Graham postulates, irrespective of how plausible of conciliatory it might seem.’
However bookies, Paddy Power, have Mr Graham as firm favourite. A spokesman commented: ‘We just feel his less manic, although nevertheless terrifying hellfire and damnation-flavoured rhetoric will win the day.’
It’s understood that The Rev Richard Coles will be hosting the event live on Sky Box Office if technology can somehow be invented that sets up the required inter-dimensional link, otherwise viewers will have to rely on wide boy Derek Acorah to relay the outcome in the studio.
However should that prove to be the case then Paddy Power will call all bets off an refund stakes. Said their spokesman: ‘It would be irresponsible to settle anything on the say-so of such a barefaced chancer as Dezza.’