Britain’s Olympic Committee has admitted that the second man in the British two-man bobsleigh team is not in fact a professional athlete, just a guy called Dave who normally works in Accounts Receivable.
‘Sure, the guy actually steering the bobsleigh has to be highly skilled,’ said a spokesman for the committee today. ‘But since the guy behind him just has to run a few yards and then sit there, we thought why not let Dave do it? He’s here anyway, looking after expenses and petty cash, and he’s always wanted to be on TV.’
The committee say they don’t regret the decision, despite the vital fractions of a second lost due to added wind resistance when Dave waved to some mates in the crowd as they went past, noting the second man was ‘essentially ballast’.
For his own part, Dave described the experience as ‘great fun’ and said if they wanted to try the same thing in the four-man bobsleigh event, his mate Simon from Human Resources was ‘definitely up for it’. This would leave them needing a fourth, but he was confident he could persuade Gladys who works in the canteen, providing the timings of the heats could be arranged so she didn’t miss any shifts.