‘Friends’ episodes to be carbon-dated


Jokes and ‘classic moments’ recovered from ancient situational comedy ‘Friends‘ are to undergo scientific analysis to determine how dated the material is, according to New Scientist.

Artifacts discovered in a Suffolk house-clearance last year include several VHS cassettes and DVDs – items which experts say that our ancestors used to consume entertainment long before you could steal everything from the Internet.

‘We’re hoping to use samples from the title-inlays for the radiocarbon dating process’ said professor Aidan Sanders. ‘This should give us an idea of when they were packaged, and consequently a rough date of production, all without having to subject someone to hours of canned-laughter or the psychological trauma of realising that none of it was that funny’

Scholars are divided on the historical importance of the ‘Friends’ material which seems to have been aired to the exclusion of all other programming during the end of the last century and repeated constantly thereafter for a good 10 years before passing into a bloody endless oral tradition in public houses and living rooms across the known world.

‘There are very much two schools of thought here’ said Professor Sanders. ‘On one hand we have the ‘do you remember that episode where..’ folks, who constantly flout their classical education at dinner parties – as if the source material was somehow relevant to modern life – endlessly debating Monica’s detrimental affect on Chandler or how Ross did funny things but was not intrinsically funny himself, before exclaiming ‘We were on a break!‘ and then guffawing at each other like stupid drains. On the other side of the coin are the ‘Rachel was fit, I’ll grant you..‘ camp, who view the works as a hyper-caricatured parody of American city life with little value to modern laughing enthusiasts. They’d rather watch a four hour clip of Noel Fielding painting himself blue and dunking his testicles in a bowl of corn flakes with a pan-pipe version of the Ghostbusters theme playing in the background’ he continued, shaking his head.

‘As a scientist I have to remain impartial until the results show us how well the show has aged. Be under no illusions however, I will fight anyone who doesn’t like the bit where Chandler thinks Eddie is holding human head at the window of Central Perk. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to move this cumbersome scientific equipment upstairs. PIVOT!’


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Posted: Mar 12th, 2018 by

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