The good old days when a trip to West Ham’s Upton Park meant being immersed in a cauldron of hatred and violence have been successfully re-established at the London Stadium. Many believe that the former Commonwealth Games stadium can never fully take the place of the beloved Boleyn Ground, but co-owners David Sullivan and David Gold, together with vice-chair Karen Brady have managed to regenerate the threatening environment many associate with the East London Club.
The club is to host seminars for Millwall FC and Leeds United staff who will gain valuable insights into harnessing the game’s naturally occurring aggression to get more bums on seats. The bums will then destroy the seats and throw them at stewards.
‘It has taken considerable effort to produce the toxic mood necessary to engender the traditional West Ham expression of feelings and emotions,’ explained Brady. ‘But it’s now starting to bear fruit, thanks to our concerted campaign of lying, selling our best players and appointing David Moyes as manager.’