Historians discover “Napoleon” only a man who thought he was Napoleon

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Scholars confirmed today that the history of the last two centuries will have to be rewritten following the revelation that the “French Emperor” was actually the first in a long line of psychiatric patients with the same delusion.

The man who ran amok in Europe for nearly twenty years is now known to have been Dave Murphy from Liverpool, who somehow came to believe he was the obscure Corsican soldier.

“He was one of our long term patients”, said social worker Mike Levy of Merseyside Psychiatric Services. “For a while he thought he was George III. That suited him really, seeing that George was quite mad too. But then Dave escaped to France while on day release as part of a trial ‘care in the community’ initiative. The rest, as they say, is history”.

Mr Levy went on: “At first we wanted to have him sectioned and sent back. But then we became quite alarmed as he started wars with half the countries in Europe. Someone decided we’d better just ‘lose’ Dave’s file and let on we’d never heard of him. Frankly, when you see one of your in-patients leading an army of 700 000 into Russia, you know it’s going to shoot you to the bottom of the league table of mental health providers”.

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2018 by

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