The UN has decreed that all political doctrines must be fully recyclable by 2020 in order to save global resources. World leaders will henceforth avoid wastage by returning to discarded ideologies from earlier eras . It hopes to reach out to all leaders with insanely obsolete ideas on running a country.
A UN spokesman commended Vladimir Putin for his ‘refreshingly retro’ approach to dealing with political enemies, whereby 1950s KGB tactics are being dusted down and given a new lease of life. He also praised UKIP’s immense contribution to conservation in not letting ideas thought up by 18th century Tories go to waste.
But the greatest praise was reserved for Boris Johnson, whose politics are ‘a Groundhog Day of Kipling, Eton cricket, and everything that made England proud a century ago’. Boris has responded warmly to the new initiative, saying he is planning to ‘road test some jolly good ideas from Ancient Greece as soon as this Brexit business is sorted’.