The head of the UK’s diplomacy has helpfully likened Vladimir Putin to Hitler, in a novel attempt to defuse international tension and improve our chances of winning the World Cup. Reaching out with all the cultural sensitivity of someone who happily uses phrases like ‘piccaninnies’, Boris de Pfeffel Johnson his begun his own personal countdown to WW3.
In response, Russia has desperately tried to come up with a comparable insult – but that does not involve James Corden. Unfortunately Mr. Johnson and Prince Philip hold the copyright on most international slurs, while Boris himself is already lost in translation.
Said a Moscow spokeswoman: ‘We racked our brains to find a suitable riposte. Something that matched the crassness of comparing our leader with the person who killed 25 million Russians. Someone whose name was synonymous with crimes beyond that of genocide. Someone who can’t use a f$cking zip wire without looking like a d$ck’.