Aussie cricket team defects to Russia

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The entire Australian Cricket team has defected to Russia and captain Steve Smith has said that any teams putting up a fight against them could be in trouble. ‘Let’s just say that, for example, some guy scores a century against us, and then the next day he’s lying in coma in sealed-off hospital with his hair falling out – well, it’s very bad luck, I guess,’ said Smith, laughing menacingly. ‘You mess with the Russian cricket team, you’ll be messing with some very volatile individuals – and not just David Warner.’

Vladimir Putin said he was looking forward to ‘turning England into ashes – er I mean, playing England for the Ashes.’ Putin said he thought Steve and the boys would fit in quite well to Russia. ‘Over here we admire macho arseholes who cheat, lie and bully their way to victory. And Russia will be a global cricket superpower. Howzatski!’

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2018 by

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