Back up your brain, but not now!


Scientists who are intellectually challenged, announced an important step forward today, this being that in 2 decades from now, when the vast majority of us, will be in wooden overcoats, we will be able to back up our brains!

This startling announcement, was made by mad, but award winning, scientist Brainpond Hurtwell, who is 62 years old, and will be too senile to know how to do this in two decades from now, if he isn’t already residing in a wooden overcoat, somewhere underneath planet earth.

All the same, he went on to add, that he felt that brain back up, was, even now, technically possible, for those who eat ‘Apples’ or wear ‘Mac’s’. There is however, far less hope, for those who look out of ‘windows’.

He also reported ‘In 20 years from now, we will have thousands of Nano-Bod computer machines, in our blood, that will heal our bodies, improve our performance, and even back up the contents of our brains just as you back up files, on computers.

‘So this will make doctors and nurses, not to mention their poisonous medications, become as extinct, as dinosaurs, which in the minds of those who use brain entrainment now, they already are.

As for backing up your brain on a computer, it will be great until your computer gets another virus, and then you lose your marbles, and subsequently, turn into a Nano-Cabbage.

Brainpond Hurtwell, who has 19 honorary doctorates, boasted that he was the inventor, of a computer programme that could play music to deaf people, and additionally he claims to be the inventor of the computer programme, that helped blind people to see without eyes, and also walk on water without wearing Jesus Sandals.

Brainpond Hurtwell, is now working on Nano-Bod technology, that will change our lives forever, so that we will all become Nano-Robotic, and only function after being plugged into our PC’s overnight, for a system restore, and brain file backup.

Beds will no longer be needed, as the new Nano people, that we are set to become, will mean that we will be able, to sleep on a monitor stand, and be beamed up by Star Trek, if we have a complete system failure, and need to be exterminated.

There is however, one concern, which Brainpond Hurtwell, has overlooked, that being, that those with iron plates in their formerly broken legs and those with Pacemakers and other metallic body implants, will have a shocking time, when they are plugged into the mains, and so these people will become Nano-Cabbaged, and become the new village idiots, whilst prisoners who have murdered people, and are awaiting the electric chair, will be deliberately fitted, with metal implants, and then simply plugged into the mains supply, to face an instant karma, complete with a free one way ticket, to planet oblivion.

Women with plastic boobs, after breast implant surgery, will melt on the spot, once put on recharge, and those who had no brains to begin with, won’t have the brains to know how to operate the new Nano Technology, so they too will remain as cabbaged as ever.

The poor who are unable to afford Nano technology, in their homes and bodies, will also be cannibalized if not left cabbaged. I am sure we are all looking forward, to the new Nano lifestyle, of the future. For those of you, who like me, won’t still be around then, rest in peace, as you will at least die a human, and not a Nano-Bod.

More news later, watch this space minus Nano-Bods.


Yes, it’s real. Yes, it is an April fool, sort of. Long story. Anyway, congratulations on reading right through

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2018 by

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