After tory minister Esther McVey suggested that teenagers should get Saturday jobs to help prepare them for the real world, several of London’s gangs have started a recruitment drive.
‘We are always on the look out for hard working young people with a variety of skills who can help with our business’, a man known only as Rico told our reporter. ‘We are a recognised local brand, providing services to the community, with an annual turnover of over £5million.’
He continued, ‘we currently have vacancies in sales and distribution, security, hospitality and grooming, and are always on the look out for bitches and hos.’
‘Full training will be given and salaries are competitive in-line with the current benefits system. Uniforms and transport are provided and there are medical benefits for the right candidates,’ he added.
The recruitment drive is ongoing and students can apply directly by chatting through the crack in the tinted windows of a pimped-out Vauxhall Corsa outside the school gates from 3:30pm most days.