WW3 Pencilled in for this weekend


Brits have been advised not to plan too many activities this weekend as World War Three is tentatively scheduled to break out at some stage. The Met Office issued a warning that WW3 is likely to bring considerably more disruption to travel than last month’s ‘Beast from the East.’

Even though it sounds bad, it’s hoped that WW3 won’t actually be as bad as WW2. ‘For a start, there’s no Adolf Hitler or any Nazis involved so that’s a bonus,’ said one analyst seeking the positives. ‘And London probably won’t be bombed for weeks on end by thousands of planes either. In fact it will probably only be bombed just the once – albeit by a powerful Russian thermonuclear warhead but still…no blitz!’

Disappointed Liverpudlian Pete Henderson said he it was ‘bloody typical’ and hoped it would all be over by the time of the Reds Champions League semi-final. ‘I hope it won’t distract the lads too much. I think Jurgen needs to make sure they put World War Three out of their minds and just concentrate on the next game.’

Meanwhile betting agency William Hill is facing a massive pay-out on thousands of bets placed for ‘Donald Trump to cause WW3.’ A spoke-person said ‘we took in a lot of money on that one and thought we might get away with it for a while there. But no – looks like the Great Orange One has come through for the punters.’

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Posted: Apr 13th, 2018 by

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