Government Chief Scientist confirms source of burning sensation affecting nation

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The Government’s Chief Scientific Adviser, Dr Robert Mitchell, has published a report indicating that the most likely cause for the burning sensation affecting millions of Brits this week is in fact the Sun, the star around which the planet orbits.

Millions of Britains have expressed their alarm about the sudden breakout of warmth – with some likening it to a “burning sensation” when outdoors.

The report goes to great lengths to rule out  other possible causes, including Russian interference, Brexit and the state of the housing market.

The report notes that the cause is unseasonably warm weather, in particular, “radiowaves which transmit light and heat energy” are deemed the chief culprits.

However, the report and its radical “science-based” explanations have been roundly criticised on social media.

One twitter user remarked, “science-schmience – I still think it is a Russian heat bomb intended to destabilise the country – everyone knows Britain stops working and just dicks about when temperatures exceed 18 degrees Celsius.”

Another, a self-proclaimed Brexiteer, claimed “we always said the economy would heat up if we voted Brexit. We just never thought that meant literally get hotter.”



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Posted: Apr 20th, 2018 by

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