Man still waiting to be blessed nine minutes after sneeze


Shipping clerk Darren Fry, 32, continued to be in a state of mild anxiety today following a sneeze after which he didn’t receive the customary blessing from co-workers. Despite knowing that the whole blessing thing is pointless, really, his sense of unease grew with every passing minute during which he remained unblessed.

Fry claims that he routinely blesses everyone else when they sneeze. ‘We all do. Then we all say thank you. But today I did a proper loud sneeze and the silence was deafening. It was like everyone was saying you’re on your own, mate. Expect no blessings from us.’ Later, Darren complained of abdominal pains, diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, extreme weakness and gangrene before dying and being placed in a big pit in Blackheath.

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2018 by

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