Trampolines resume non-bouncing duties


Trampolines in gardens across the land are to resume their usual roles as lawn-knackerers and collectors of shite from tomorrow, it has been confirmed.
The news comes after the ten-foot wide monstrosities enjoyed three days of being bounced upon by happy children during the unseasonably hot weather.

‘We’re glad that trampolines can go back to safely collecting leaves and providing cover for a few random garden tools,’ said a spokesperson for the Gardening Society. ‘It’s fine for these storage solutions to be bounced on every now and then, but they’re really not built for that sort of usage 365 days a year.’

Parents across the land have confirmed plans to look wistfully out the window for the remainder of the year at a huge netted piece of tarpaulin planning a trip to the tip at some unspecified point in the future

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2018 by

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