As details of Donald Trump’s trip to the UK start to be unveiled, the President has moved to try and reassure everyone that the occasion ranks much higher than a mere state visit. ‘Great to hear I’m staying at the Premier Inn Euston,’ tweeted Trump. ‘You hear that – the PREMIER inn. Red carpets being rolled out, right there. Continental buffet breakfast already added on to the room booking as a signal of my status!!!’.
‘Travel from London up to my golf resort in Scotland now sorted by Theresa’, continued Trump. ‘Mega Bus seems just right for a mega star like me! 26 hour journey time must include some good stopovers!!! And I’m going to meet some hot pieces of ass called Nicola and Ruth, apparently.’
‘Great to have chance to see Queen’, noted Trump in another tweet. ‘Not sure what she means by Standby ticket for We Will Rock You but sure Lizzie Vagina has it in hand!!’