The economic benefit of keeping the Royal Family has been questioned after it emerged that most of the foreign visitors who swarm around Buckingham Palace are just unwanted relatives from continental royalty trying in vain to have a word with one of the Windsors. It was previously thought they were gullible tourists who keep the British economy afloat by buying tatty Royal merchandise.
A recent study of a crowd watching the Changing of the Guard revealed they were all Greek royals who claimed Philip owed them money, plus one Japanese tourist who thought he was at Madame Tussaud’s. Meanwhile, exiled Prince Ludwig Battenberg admitted he is often mistaken for a sightseer as he hangs around outside various royal residences waiting in vain for one of his cousins to let him in. However, a courtier said that Ludwig had been bumming free meals off the Windsors for ten years and they had started pretending to be out when he turns up. ‘Nobody likes a parasite,’ he said.