The MP for Somerset NE has been cornered in a sting operation by a geriatric vigilante group who set up a fake profile on social media. The lanky reactionary was lured into meeting ‘Sir Crispin Linnett-Hubsworthy’, supposedly a retired brigadier with interests in ‘Brexit and hanging’, on the steps of the Athenaeum Club. Little did he know that he was about to be surrounded by heckling activists who filmed him on their smartphones when he turned up for the rendezvous.
In his defence, the MP has blamed his upbringing in a world of Bentleys and cut-glass accents. He says he finds it hard to bond with anyone under 85 who doesn’t think Britain has been going downhill ever since Lord Salisbury resigned as prime minister.
Mrs Agatha Elville, 87, of Kent, admits she was completely convinced she was talking to someone of her own age when the MP lured her into a risqué conversation about Edwardian corset stays: ‘He did seem to be oblivious to everything that’s happened in the last 75 years’, she says. ‘I feel so let down’.
After a false start on MySpace two months ago, Mr Rees-Mogg then discovered Facebook, where he started grooming confused octogenarians and discussing plans to take Britain back into the nineteenth century. He blames himself for getting caught: ‘I should have suspected Sir Crispin as soon as he started instant messaging me’, he regretfully recalls. ‘He was typing way too fast for a 94-year-old with shrapnel wounds from El Alamein’.