Neighbour with power tools set to own your bank holiday Monday


The massive prat who lives next door to you has decided that the long weekend of good weather is the perfect opportunity to make continuous use of what sounds like some kind of jet-engine-powered steel drum shredder.

Despite you greeting him with a convincing and assertive ‘All right mate?” on Sunday morning, clearly designed to signal your intention to go out back to enjoy a bit of breakfast in the sun – the nobhead still powered up his industrial strength smog generator and began jack-hammering his entire property.

The seemingly endless task can only be interrupted long enough for him to have arguments with his girlfriend while listening to the thrash metal album ‘Master of Puppets’ by Metallica, it has been confirmed.

With the prospect of him not finishing his labours until the last bit of sun has disappeared late on Monday evening,   you swear that the next time you catch his eye you will tell him to shut the f*ck up – just as soon as you have watched every series of The Walking Dead – in your bedroom – with headphones on.

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Posted: May 6th, 2018 by

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