Britons are to be given a long-awaited chance to leave the Eurovision Singing Bloc after years of humiliation and under-performance. It will be a simple In/Out referendum with hard-core singing strongholds of the UK such as Wales expected to be those most in favour of leaving. [read...]
The Archbishop of Canterbury has admitted that listening to Dr Dre’s rap song, “Bitches ain’t shit”, which featured in the rapper’s seminal album, the Chronic, has eased his fears over his decision to remain celibate. [read...]
Oxford and Cambridge Universities have responded to calls to admit more disadvantaged students, by allowing Muggles, under-cover of darkness, to eat out of the bins – ‘once the foxes have finished’. Also serfs, or anyone from a Comprehensive, [read...]
The Coalition Government has hailed the country’s first ever ‘whinge-farm’ a huge success.