A furious row has broken out in Westminster over an initiative by UK Food Banks to celebrate the upcoming Royal Wedding on May 19th. In line with Meghan and Harry’s desire for the whole nation to celebrate with them, all UK food banks announced that they intend including an extra 500g bag of pasta in all their clients’ rations.
But the idea, to be known as Meghan’s Meal, was furiously condemned as ‘a recipe for disaster’, by Esther McVey Minister for Work and Pensions. Speaking to a packed House of Commons, she dubbed it ‘Harry’s handouts’ and told MP’s: ‘Giving these People free food will only make them more idle and take away any incentive for them to even try and find meaningful employment or to help themselves.’
Roared on by her Tory Colleagues Ms McVey asked the House to imagine the scene on the big day, and painted a picture of millions of feckless, work shy scroungers gorging themselves on free pasta while decent people paid their own way.
Iain Duncan Smith and Jacob Rees-Mogg, two of Britain’s leading Catholics told reporters afterwards that the Bible is clear, God will provide for all he deems worthy and if some, either through hunger or untreated illness, die, then it is a clear sign that God is doing our work for us.
Asked to comment, Boris Johnson said that he was relieved that it was only Pasta, ‘When I heard Meghan’s Meal, I thought they would be serving up Roast Possum and Grits’.