Scientists confirm Jacob Rees-Mogg result of botched time travel experiment

Time Traveler

Westminster is still in shock today after time travellers from Victorian England came to reclaim one of their contemporaries who has been missing since an early experiment went drastically wrong and left him stranded in 2018.

Two top-hatted men with mutton-chop sideburns walked into the Commons chamber and asked the bespectacled Brexiteer to ‘come quietly’, as the mad scientist in the 1860s laboratory has further work to carry out on him. Mr Rees-Mogg was then gently escorted through a rip in the space-time continuum as MPs discussed the pros and cons of a possible customs union.

The man formerly known as Jacob Rees-Mogg is now known to have been an undertaker and smelling-salt merchant whose real name was Ebenezer Ormondsby. He was active in the Victorian temperance and anti-vice movements before being catapulted 150 years into the future in a carelessly conducted experiment.

The time-travelling visitors apologised for any inconvenience caused by Mr ‘Rees-Mogg’s’ sojourn in the 21st century. ‘To be honest, his views were a bit extreme even for us’, said one. ‘He was rather too keen on giving Johnny Foreigner a good hiding at every opportunity and sending five-year-old boys up chimneys’. They deny there are any other fugitives from from previous centuries lurking in British politics today, although it was noted that Boris Johnson hid in the members’ toilets until they had left.

Share this story...

Posted: May 19th, 2018 by

Click for more article by ..


© 2018 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer