Virulent outbreak of Sycophantois has nation’s broadcasters in its grip

A&E

It is being reported that A&E Departments across the country were overrun this morning as thousands of national and local broadcast journalists became stricken with the terrifying condition, Sycophantosis.

One typical example is St Jude’s Infirmary in Norwich, where services have become so chronically overloaded with up to 100 local television and radio reporters waiting to be assessed and treated, that every available trolley has been used and there are still not enough so patients are lying on the floor.

Dr Ngobi N’tanga said: ‘This is a rare condition that surfaces from time to time and is brought on by excessive sucking up to members of the Royal Family particularly when there is a wedding taking place. Symptoms include endless repetition of preposterous facile uncorroborated drivel and a total loss of any objectivity.

‘One poor chap from North Norfolk Digital is currently in our ICU repeating ‘Prince Harry…Wow! Amazing – incredible – stupendous’ and ‘Meghan-is-most-beautiful-woman-in-the-world – Meghan-is-most-beautiful-woman-in-the-world, over and over and over again. I’m afraid there is very little hope for him and he’s just the first of many. It’s all so sad.’

It’s understood that the condition is immune to all known antibiotics and its predicted that the epidemic will continue until the tabloid press starts digging up sufficient dirt on Meghan to demonise her just as soon as the honeymoon is finished.

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Posted: May 19th, 2018 by

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