Over 2000 commoners trapped inside the grounds of Windsor Castle have been told they won’t be allowed to leave until the place is clean and tidy. Those commoners who tried to get away a bit early to beat the rush found the portcullis locked and the drawbridge raised to prevent them from leaving.
‘One commoner who tried to exit through an open arrow slit was run through with a pike staff, while others who complained about being locked in were set upon by ravens,’ said one witness today.
The commoners were herded into the Round Tower where they were split into equal teams of two according to Palace insiders. One team was handed a roll of bin bags while the other team were given brooms and told no one could leave until the place was spotless.
‘Oh come on……really,’ quipped a man dressed in red breeches and a ruff collar, ‘why do you think they were invited in the first place? Do you honestly think they were here to enjoy the wedding?
Where have you been for the last 900 years?’