Following a tough recruitment process, Arsenal Football Club is set to announce that its new manager will be the late comedy legend, Dick Emery.
Emery’s personality won over the Arsenal board of directors with his toothy grin and suggestive humour, especially as he turned up in green satin hot pants, greeting them with the phrase, “Hello honky tonks!”
“His comic character creations will be an instant hit with the fans”, said Arsenal’s head of football relations, Raul Sanllehi.
Each time the team lose a match, Mr Emery is expected to pull a funny face to camera and in a cockney accent say, “Dad, I fink I got it wrong again”.
Emery will also be the first Premier League manager to attend matches in drag. Arsenal’s chief executive Ivan Gazidis, said he was not so sure about this, but was won over when Mr Emery said
“Ooh, you are awful … but I like you” and shoved him to the ground.
Fans are said to be excited about the appointment, in particular as it is rumoured that his assistant at the Emirates will be the late Roy Kinnear.