GDPR can ‘f$ck off’

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The UK has reached a consensus that the spread of data protection across Europe is on par with the Bubonic plague or an idea by Michael Gove. Many people have likened it to the End of Times or almost as bad as ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys’.

The European Union’s General Data Protection Regulation (COCKWOMBLE for short) soon comes into effect, with data being erased faster than you can say, Theresa May, a box of matches and a Jamaican passport. No one will be truly safe until we have deleted all data – including the secret of fire – and re-set civilization to the Palaeolithic Era

Sadly all our inboxes are now flooded with unwanted emails from needy businesses, leaving very little space for those who need our data for legitimate purposes; such as Vote Leave, Nigerian Princes or your creepy ex. IT specialists admit that you can only really encrypt your identity by shaving off your finger-prints and smashing your face with a claw-hammer.

With a compliance checklist longer than the Doomsday Book, GDPR promises to be such a ‘pain in the arse’, that it would make a proctologist wince. Said one IT expert: ‘Basically, we’ll erase everything, Everything that matters. So only James Corden is safe’.

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Posted: May 25th, 2018 by

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