As increasing transparency becomes obligatory for businesses, Subway – sellers of the footlong sub – have decided honesty at all costs is the way forward as they unveiled their new slogan: It All Tastes The Same.
One sandwich technician, working in the London Charing Cross branch, admitted: ‘I always felt terrible offering the customer the choice of five different breads, knowing full well each one tasted the same. And as I filled their sub with our extensive range of fillings, I couldn’t look them in the eye; I just kept thinking, “it doesn’t matter; it doesn’t matter”. But now they know that, I can serve the sub without shame’.
‘Customers can still order a range of subs like our classic Chicken Ham, or the much-loved Meatball Marinara,’ reassured Subway’s Director of Sandwiches, Nicola Benger, ‘but now they can order sure in the knowledge that all they are going to get is a general unpindownable taste. Unless,’ she added, ‘they add jalapeños. Then it will taste “hot”. We’re charging an extra 50p for jalapeños’.
And this new honesty is a trend that’s in the ascendancy. With fast food outlets and some restaurants signing up to Just Eat’s new venture: Just Don’t Eat Here. Said one analyst: ‘It’s honest. It’s true. It’ll probably end in bankruptcy’.