London Mayor Sadiq Khan has announced that buskers in the capital are to be provided with contactless card readers to facilitate payments.
However, London’s army of sex workers have refused a similar offer, union secretary ‘Roxanne Divine’ (not her real name) explained, ‘it’s alright for buskers, their trade isn’t suffocated by innuendo like ours. Can you imagine the hours of tortuous grinning at pathetic innuendo-driven quips by clients over: ‘I hope you’re not contactless?’, or ‘where do I swipe this?’, ‘Is the tip included, as well as the…?’ And so on. The embarrassment would be too much to bear.’
‘It’s relatively straightforward with cash, there’s no awkward chit-chat time waiting to process a transaction. At worst, it’s a sub-standard effort about visiting the hole-in-the-wall. Heaven forfend should there be a problem with the card.’
‘We’re instructing our members, if confronted with: ‘Are you ready to accept my deposit? Their reply will be, ‘Quite frankly sir, no.’’